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Birth Mother Means Brave, Bold, and Beautiful

The past two months have been one crazy ride for me. I have had time to think about the new direction I want to go with my journey along with what I want to do with this blog I have created. I have been so vulnerable and open with my story that I feel like it’s time to start sharing more of others as well. I have had time to think about the future along with my self care and getting it in line with how I want to grow in the adoption community.  I’ve learned that seasons change for people and they aren’t always bad when they change. Change is scary yet it can be so rewarding afterwards. My pen pal project has sky rocketed into something so beautiful. Something so big that I never knew it would in such a short period of time. The friendships I have made this past year are ones I would never want to replace or let go of. Even when life gets crazy I know that no matter what my tribe is a phone call away, a letter away, and a visit away. These brave women I have formed friendships with have stories that they are not ashamed of or scared  to tell. Callie is a woman that I love in so many ways. She is beyond pro active in the birthmom community. She is a woman I admire and love.

Here is her story. Her story has not been modified or changed in any way.

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Birth Mother Means Brave, Bold, and Beautiful

My Personal Journey and Perspectives on Open Adoption

By: Birth Mom, Callie Jett

 

Before I became a birth mother, I was a sixteen-year-old naive girl being pressured into an abortion. My story could have easily ended at the Planned Parenthood abortion center my mother drove me to, but because there were peaceful people outside the abortion center that day, my situation became refined. These people outside the abortion center, who were sidewalk advocates, introduced me to a choice that was so foreign to me at the time: The option of open adoption.

Life can be beautiful after choosing open adoption. During my pregnancy, I did not think that season of my life would pass, but it went by quick. A wonderful maternity home took me under their wings free of charge, and without judgment or chastisement. After nine and a half months, I gave birth to a handsome little boy through support and assistance from caring people around me. Being able to hold my birth son, rock him, and sing to him before saying my “Good-byes” was worth every bit of back pain and health complications.

After the placement of my birth son, I survived, seasons changed, time caught up with me, and I now have my own bundles of joy. Thirteen years to this day, I have a flourishing relationship with my birth son and his adoptive parents. But even if I were to have no contact with my birth son, his life was still worth every bit of sweat and stress. If these precious moments can ensue for me, then they can transpire for any woman facing an unexpected pregnancy and who have exhausted all possibilities to parent. That is the beauty of what open adoption is today. My journey towards the option of open adoption for my birth son made me stronger and braver. And my decision of adoption for him taught me true selflessness and love.

In turn, as my birth son got older, he encouraged me to share my adoption story to women who are stuck in similar situations as I was when facing an unplanned pregnancy. To share my story with women who are entering abortion center’s today, feeling scared, alone, and being pressured into a decision of abortion. Many of these women knowing very little about the option of open adoption; some never even knowing what open adoption is. And three years ago, during my activism as a Sidewalk Advocate, Talk About Adoptionlaunched. The rest is history.

Since the launch of Talk About Adoption, women facing unplanned pregnancies have found us for help, resources, and have even chosen life for their child – Whether choosing to parent or place their child for adoption. Thus far, twenty-one abortion-determined women have chosen life for their baby after finding the organization, or from my involvement as a Sidewalk Advocate outside one of my local abortion center’s. Seven of these women never even heard about the option of open adoption until finding our organization on the Internet or through a referral.

This begs the question: Does our current society truly understand open adoption today? Or, are birth mothers active in sharing their adoption stories to others – Specifically to women who are abortion-determined and who feel they have no other options? Birth mothers must stop hiding behind their fear that someone may think they “gave up” their baby for adoption and “did not want it.” As a birth mother today, adoption means that I have a wonderful opportunity to share my adoption story for someone else, because this is not about me anymore. It was never about me in the beginning. It was about my birth son.

Women, who are in crisis pregnancy situations and contemplating abortion, need guidance from a birth mother to offer them empowering choices: Parenting or adoption. Birth mothers have been there, done that. Our younger generation desires to speak to real people who have made this different decision. As open adoption becomes more prevalent, birth mothers have these amazing adoption experiences and the strength to help other women see that shining light at the end of the tunnel. The mainstream media does not understand this adjudication that relies on a mother to give beyond herself, and abortion center’s are businesses who profit off of … abortions.

You see, it is easy for the adoption triad to know the blessings of adoption and how to get that far into that decision, but abortion-determined women facing unplanned pregnancies know nothing about that exact process unless we speak up. Birth mothers have the opportunity to change people’s perceptions of adoption with their own individual, distinct adoption story; thus giving our younger generation the courage and knowledge if they were to encounter an unexpected pregnancy. This is about using our anecdotes to help another person in need. This is about loving others above ourselves. This is about changing the world. Yes! Birth mothers are that sacred and powerful in this diverse universe!blog

So, how can a birth mother create change? Most importantly, she should be proud and hold their head up high, because one, options support respect. Of course, birth mothers need their own individual time of healing and coping. Some even seek out the various birth mother support organizations and post-adoption counseling. But after we have acknowledged that this decision was the best through our own mentality and perspectives. Although it was not easy, it was the best. We can unveil our adoption story and share it with those who know nothing about the option of adoption. Where? We can start at our local pregnancy resource centers, our schools, and better yet, peacefully in front of abortion centers where women have never heard of this exceptional word. With abortion centers sweeping our nation, undoubtedly there are at least thousands of women who need to hear our voices. Birth mothers should not only share their adoption story, but also spread the knowledge of these amazing and honest adoption resources. We have this unique opportunity to provide, become involved in our community, to end the stigma of open adoption, and create a culture of life.

This is about changing people’s lives, which in turn, change others, and so on. It is a divine chain reaction. Adoption means a woman not regretting a decision of abortion, a heartache and life saved, and the cycle goes on – just because there was the presence of a faithful person knowledgeable on the topic of adoption, or a birth mother who shared her adoption story.

Birth mothers can produce fruit, too. I have been able to witness women make a parenting or adoption decision ever since I began sharing my adoption story, and became active in my community. It is a wonderful feeling for a mother to squeeze your neck, and to thank you for your presence when she was feeling as if all odds were against her. To see these women looking forward to delivery, naming their baby, and preparing for what’s ahead – it is breathtaking. Let’s create change now. Birth mother means brave, bold and beautiful. There is a new generation heading towards the word, “choice.” Choice also means open adoption. This is the twenty-first century – Talk about adoption.

A letter from an adoptive mom.

Throughout the past month and half I have met an adoptive mom online from a support group that I am apart of. To be exact this is a group of women who all have a significant other that has been or is in the service. We talk about home life, to what to wear to the ball, to what its like being a mom. Life in general. 

I came across this woman who shared her story about being in the process of adoption with her husband. Her story shed light to mine. It made me see that I and other birth parents were not the only ones that have pain, have trouble healing, trouble moving on, or better yet have that piece of mind that our birth children are loved and treated well daily. The feeling or regrets and doubt we may tend to have even if we want to admit it or not.

This letter Erika wrote, is short, heart warming, and brought tears to my eyes. The connection I have with her is different then many can imagine. We are slowly forming a friendship that is odd that some would say. We are helping one another cope, heal, understand, and move forward. Talking to her the few times that I have has made such a difference in my life in so many ways.11390087_10153395727022640_6449644350039714716_n

Her letter:

Dear Birthmom,
I honestly don’t even know how to start this off besides saying thank you a million times. What you did was so courageous and shows me that you must’ve been a strong woman. I hope Jayde inherits that trait from you. Everyone who knows Jayde’s story is sad for what you did, but I tell them “It is not by any means a sad thing. Her Birthmom loved her enough to give her a better life.” I don’t know what your circumstances were that caused you to choose this path, but I commend you for making this tough choice. I wish I could tell you how grateful I am for Jayde. You gave her to us. You kept her healthy, and I could never thank you enough for that. I promise that John and I will be the best parents we can be to her and I promise to always remind her that you loved her. I promise to help make her proud of who she is, and her story. I promise to love her as my own. I promise to never let a day go by without telling her I love her. Although we may not know who you are, I will forever have a connection with you. The greatest gift in our life was given to us by you. There is no way “Thank you” will ever be enough. So just know that Jayde will be given the best life possible, and she will be loved forever. You will always be in my heart, and I hope you think of us too. 
Sincerely,
One very happy mommy. 
For more of Erika’s story you can read her blog here:

Hello November; National Adoption Month

Today we say goodbye to October and its festivities, and say hello to November.IMG_4858

November is the month that starts to cheer  Christmas is around the corner and that Thanksgiving is just a few weeks away. Yet this month tends to hit home for a lot of men and women that are in the same boat as me. National Adoption Month.

In the past I have dreaded November, I actually wanted to get it over with. I wasn’t ready to share my story. I wasn’t ready for people to embrace me with extra love and make me feel like they felt sorry for me. Yet this year I have turned a new leaf and I’m wanting to embrace it. I’m now ready to feel the embrace-meant of others. I am ready to feel loved and know its not because they pity me. They actually really care about me.

I ask that you pray for me, and not just me yet people that are like me. People that are still healing. Birth fathers and Birth mothers. This Month I am lighting a candle not just for me yet for everyone who needs that little bit of extra light to get through this month. IMG_4808

This month will be a little different when it comes to blog posts. I will be sharing other people’s pain, love, healing, moving forwards. I will also have a story from an adoptive mother’s side. Her struggles and pain and how adoption changed her and her husband’s lives.

I’m mentally preparing myself for that I will be digging deeper into the rawness this month. My story is far from being over;

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[I asked for a couple Birth Parents to share their stories; to share their thoughts and feelings on placing. These are real stories, each story is different; each pain is different yet the one thing we have in common is we did this out of love.]

“She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do was move forward and make the WHOLE beautiful.”

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It’s been four years. Four years of sadness, grief, heartache, sleepless nights, pain, happiness, joy, strength, hope, I can go on forever. People think that placing is easy, that it’s a walk in the park. Yet there is so much more to that. It hasn’t just affected me, it’s affected my family and friends. It’s ruined some of my relationships. All this pain and happiness I have throughout the years; it’s been hard and easy all at the same time: yet, I wouldn’t change it for the world. During my pregnancy I was in doubt. I was in denial. I didn’t want to accept that I was pregnant that I was going to fail as a parent. That I would be a single parent at that: I would be struggling to make ends meet. I wasn’t emotionally ready. I didn’t believe in abortion then or now. My life wasn’t at risk or Ava’s. I would have been so selfish to do so. I would be so evil to end someone’s life because of my mistakes. I could have looked at this and told myself I can do this on my own, yet who was I kidding? I knew I couldn’t have given her a fraction of the life she really deserved. Did Ava really deserve a life like mine? A life where she would be homeless for a while, or watch her mom get beat up by her boyfriend? Live in motel to motel. Get taken away from school because your mother was an “unfit” parent? To live from aunt to aunt. Have your grandma be your mom? I’m not saying my whole childhood was bad, yet it was very confusing for a long time. It has taken me 24 years to finally accept my life on how I was raised, who my mother is, that yes I may be emotionally messed up and broken yet It is my choice to move on and accept that I’m a beautiful mess. I have flaws and that’s OKAY!

(((Those who believe in abortion, I clearly don’t mean to offend you in any way, this is my body, this was my choice. I chose to place my birth daughter up for adoption and no it wasn’t a mistake, it was a gift, a gift of life. A blessing at that. ))

It took me a long time to accept that I was going to have a child and that I needed to do the right thing, even though it was going to be extremely hard. I needed to do what was right. I had to open up my heart to people I didn’t know, people that I only have met a few times. People I fell in love with right away. They didn’t want to just help me at my deepest plea, they wanted another child to call their own. One to embrace, one to love, one to teach about the world and its beauty. These adoptive parents became family. My open adoption with Ava, is easy and hard all the same time. The first two years I was very active yet I noticed I was being so selfish at times. I needed time to heal and move on, to accept that this was not just a temporary fix, that this here was real life. I moved away not to escape yet to heal, to find my voice. To find who I was as a person. I thought I was in love yet come on who was I kidding. He didn’t love me for the right reasons, for he would always tell me I was a failure because I choose adoption. Yes I have gotten my fair share of people throwing this in my face, till this day. I met Derrik while I was away from home. He is my prince charming in so many ways. He is the one. He completes me, yes we have our faults and hard times yet there is one thing this man has always done, to continue to remind me that I am strong woman. That I did the right thing. That Ava loves me and will learn to love me. Derrik is right in so many ways.

Placing has its beautiful moments, the moments of getting a picture sent to you in the mail, FaceTime calls, talking on the phone for a few hours, yet the thing that brings my heart to joy and warms my heart is when Ava and her sister Lilly can both tell me they love me. I have not only made a difference in one person’s life but a whole family. I noticed this past year I yet I made a difference in Lilly’s life. She gets to have a bond with Ava that no one else will. A sister bond one that I wish I had.  My story isn’t over yet for I am literally taking it one day at a time. I have my ups and downs, my silent cries, sometimes I bust out laughing when no one is around,  I talk to myself most days ( Yes I am a tad crazy at times.) Sometimes I have a dark cloud hanging over me, I get sad, I cry, sometimes my heart just feels weak, then I kick myself in the ass and I have Derrik who is here to help remind me that everything is okay. Even when I refuse to take his comforting. I still have some broken bridges yet I have learned that I am okay with that. I am okay with losing some people that I had in my life at one time. I have learned especially after having my son that the people that stay with you through the hardest times and embrace you with love are the people you want to keep around, are the people you want your own child to know. So that one day when my son sees a love one hurting he will know what to do. To offer his love, even when they push him away. To not give up, yet to always be there for them, it’s this act of love I needed the most and I still do till this day when I have my bad days. I did a beautiful and selfless act, I have finally now have accepted this past year. I am a birth mom and it’s taken me four years to say that loud and proud, my story isn’t over yet;

-Samantha M.

Throughout this journey I have meet some pretty awesome Birth Mothers and yes Birth Fathers! I asked on this group I am apart of anyone wanted to share their story with me; here are their stories:

A couple that placed together and still have managed to stay together. After placing not many couples stay together for a long time, yet this couple here is proving everything and everyone wrong!!

“I don’t remember who said this, but there really are places in your heart you never knew even existed until you love a child in so many ways you never knew possible”

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-My name is Lauren I’m 23.

I’m Cody and I’m 21.

We placed our son around 6 months ago to an amazing family who we see and hear from all of the time. For me (Lauren) placing Wesley was our only option. I have school to finish, and we’re not financially or emotionally stable enough. I’m an adoptee myself and I grew up with an amazing life and amazing relationship with my birth mom so that also helped. I knew that we could never give him the greatest life, a good life? Sure, but he deserves so much more than that. So it was a no brainer and his adoptive family has made it so much easier.

Placing for me (Cody) was kind of difficult for me. I think Lauren being adopted herself helped it be easier for her, but I had a hard time wrapping my head around placing my son with another family. But during most of Lauren’s pregnancy I was deployed and I knew this would happen again a time or two in our lives, and I don’t want to miss out on my child’s life for months at a time, plus I knew I wasn’t mature enough and we weren’t financially ready. It was difficult being away for all of the big moments and missing the birth of Wesley, but I was as involved as I could have been. Now that I’m home I like getting the updates and going to visit my son and his family and seeing them all together it just makes sense, I love them and they’ve become an extension of our family.

The biggest struggle we really faced was not being able to be together during everything, it was hard not having my go to person there during my birth (Lauren), it was hard not being able to be there for her, through the hospital visits, pain, cravings, during and after the birth (Cody) I felt helpless because she was all alone, it still amazes me she went through everything by herself.

Another thing that was hard was once I placed Wesley in his mother’s arms I just handed her my heart, then I went home with no baby, no son, and I felt empty, but his family is what got me by honestly, they just keep me so in the loop, and they treat me like family.

We’re not ashamed of placing our son, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. We gave a family the greatest blessing you can ever give someone, and we gave our son the gift of an amazing life.

I’m proud to be a birth-mom because I feel so strong, I feel like I’ve been through one of the most difficult things a woman can go through and I survived, I’m a stronger woman because of it.

I’m proud to be a birth-father because I have a special bond that I feel like not a lot of other people can know and understand. It’s a different love.

Carrie; this woman here, her story is so shocking, so raw. I embraced her the moment I finished reading her story, I cried, I smiled because the hope, the pain, the beauty she has is special and strong all the same time. 

“I don’t know what this journey will be. I do know that the love I have for you will never fade”

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Here is my Thoughts

Broken or Not?

I once thought that only the birthparents were broken. Why do we as birthparents think that Adoptive parents are perfect, and will be a “perfect” family? We all hope and pray that in the short time we get to spend with them that they will never change. I know that I wanted my daughter raised by a married couple, wanted her to have a “perfect” life, dance lessons, music lessons, and well on all the other things that we can dream up in our minds that we feel our children deserve. Well nothing in life is guaranteed. Heck nothing is a guarantee. I want to share my story of what just happened to me.

I woke up Wednesday to find a message from my Amom saying” I am going to swallow my pride now and am going to ask you for help now.” I went to look at her facebook page because that is how we stay in contact and found that she needed bail money. I was in shock. I have been dealing with this fear for a while, but now my nightmare has come true. These parents are the ones I trusted. I had always wanted her raised by a married couple, but that is not always a guarantee in life. Heck nothing is guaranteed in life. While I was talking to her on the phone to find out what was going on she told me we needed to talk face to face. I agreed. I was also told that my daughter that I placed wanted to meet me and with everything going on she needed, and wanted it. I was scared to death. All my fears so far were happening, now what if she hates me, what if this and what if that’s were all I could think of. Once I was out of my van she hugged me and I told her I loved her and missed her. I was so worried that she would not want to hug me or talk to me, she is a shy young lady, so I was not expecting much conversation either. After we hugged, we sat there and laughed and giggled and it felt so right. I feel whole now. I was able to put that necklace on her that was my strength when i needed it. So now Amom and I are having our discussions about what was going on. I found out that well, they are divorced, and now they were both battling their own drug addictions. I was sad that my daughter had to watch both her parents put her on the back burner. So meeting her was a blessing for her. So you may be wondering if I am questioning my Placement. NO I am not. I made the choice to place her for a reason, now I am sure this reason has been made clear to me. My daughter’s amom was there for me when I was in need of help, so it is only right that I be there for both my Amom and my daughter. My Amom is going to be checking into a 45 day inpatient rehab to help her with her addictions. Yes, I am hurt that this happened, but it does not change my thought about her as a mom. I have agreed to be there for her so that she will have a clean person to cheer her on in her sobriety. I am so glad that she was this honest with me and told me.

I could have looked at this and allowed it to put me in a very dark spot .It is all in how you look at life. They were there for me when I needed them most. Yes I am angry and hurt and I feel betrayed, but that is a negative way to look at life. They are human and make mistakes just like me. I have to turn my anger to god and let him guide me and be my strength when I need it. This was a blessing for all involved. Amom did not have to be honest with me. It shows that she trusts me and wants me to be a part of her recovery, and I will stand by her side just like she was by my side when I had our daughter and had to deal with the fact that I was rapped and was having a baby. This by no means was this easy. I had to really put my boundaries in place. I had to take a chance and not over step my role and respect the Amom. She never had to tell me. As long as she needs me I will be there for her. Anybody that knew me those 3 short years ago know that I would have bailed out Amom, gave her my car and made sure that k bug was taken care of, but I placed her for adoption because this was not something I could do at that moment in my life. They adopted her because they were able to provide for her. We as birthparents feel broken but we are not alone, adoptive parents are human just like us. They make choices and they are not are not perfect. It is our job as birthparents to not be bitter and not show judgmental love, but we need to show unconditional love no matter what the situation is. Now that I have shared this experience with everyone, I hope that you take what I have learned and apply to your own life whether it is adoption related or not, because only you can OWN your story.

I have had the pleasure of meeting Nicole through a support group on Facebook. We have formed a friendship of one that I know I can talk to about relationships, self-love and best of all adoption.

No one else will even know the strength of my love for you.”

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8 years ago I found myself pregnant at 19. I was scared, ashamed, and unprepared. After a long while of considering my options, I decided open adoption was the best choice for both of us. I wanted to be 19, as selfish as that may be. And I wanted her to have both parents, love and stability. Everything she deserved and I couldn’t provide. Although it was the hardest choice I have ever made in my life, I stand by saying it was the best. Every day I struggle with a piece of my heart missing. They say when you have a child, it’s like a piece of your heart walking around outside your body. That couldn’t be truer. But, the lovely thing about open adoption is, that piece of my heart is never far from me. I know her, I see her, and I got to hug her so tight recently. My heart is so full because of open adoption. I have an extended family who has seen me through some of my hardest days, and I get the comfort of knowing that little girl is right where she was intended. For all of those reasons I am proud to be a birth mom. Proud to be part of this community made of the smartest, strongest men and women I know. I am stronger, braver and unstoppable. I had to be for my birth daughter. I had to be for myself. My truth matters because I am proud to be strong, brave and a birth mom.

We all have different truths, different stories. Yet our pain is still the same. We all have felt hurt, sadness, and happiness throughout our journeys. It’s when we can form a community and surround ourselves with people that just get it, or better yet want to be there even if they don’t.

Believe

Believe

About a month ago my aunt had asked me if I would make a few tops for my cousins. I simply said “YES”! I was happy and filled with so much joy that she had an interest in what I was doing. That she BELIEVED in me. I asked her what she wanted. She simply said, Believe.IMG_4129

It got me thinking long and hard about this word. It didn’t click much with me at all. It didn’t mesh very well. I needed to believe in myself, because I simply wanted to be unstoppable. I want to be fearless, I want to be strong, and I want to be successful. I want to be free.

Even though we are miles away, we still have a strong bond. A bond I know in my heart is hard to break. She just gets it. She gets me, she understands that I am broken in some areas, yet she always embraces me. She simply loves me. I guess in other words you can say she believes. It took me to do a lot of self-healing and accepting that my aunt did the best she could when she could. She held my hand during my whole pregnancy with Ava. She herself embraced Ava and loves her more than anyone will ever know. She wanted to take the time to be a part of my messy yet beautiful life. She supported me and all of me even if she didn’t agree with everything I did, or how I saw things.

Growing up she always would tell me

“Do what is right Sammie, not what is easy”IMG_4155

In my heart I knew what was ‘right’ and what was ‘easy’. My heart told me another while my mind tried to take over and try to feed me lies. I slowly believed the lies, I let them control my emotions, I let the lies control me. Yet it took getting my hands messy once again and put my boots on because I was going to get dirty, I was going to get messy. I was ready to dig deep and face the pain. I was ready to feel those raw emotions and let them sink in. I want to feel love, joy, happiness, and believe in myself! I was ready. I am still am!

Going through fonts with my aunt, making this top become alive was truly fun. I’m happy that her and I have a top that we can call our ‘’own’’ and share it with one another. For I have learned its not the miles that separate us from one another, it’s the commitment we want to put forward. It’s the effort we show. The little reminders of “I believe in you” or “I’m so proud of you” is what helps me know I’m doing the right thing, not what is easy.  
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“You are braver that you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

Top: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ourunendingjourney

ABLE; With Olivia.

Olivia contacted me asking if My Truth would be a sponsor for her, on her Miss Missouri Teen USA Pageant Show. IMG_3876

At first I was a bit hesitant to do so, for the typical standers what pageants give off. Having “high” standard for young and adult women being self cautious of their bodies, with how they should look, you must be thin, stuck up, or better yet you’re not beautiful unless you have on layers and layers of makeup. Yet when Olivia reached out to me, I knew in my heart there was something different about her. As I got to know a little bit of her and get inside her heart and soul. I saw that there was this young girl, full of life, full of dreams, full of fire. SHE WANTS TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

She believes in what I’m doing. She simply wanted to help me, spread the word of “My Truth” spread the word of self healing. Self love, Self acceptance. That adoption is okay. That everyone matters.

I asked her to think long and hard about why she choose the word “ABLE”

“My dad is actually an abusive alcoholic and has been my entire life. Earlier this summer we actually left him and saying it’s hard is an understatement. I chose able because I am able to move past this, able to make something of myself and capable of not letting the past define me. Competing for Miss Missouri has given me a new dream to work towards so that whenever I’m feeling down, stressed, or full of anxiety, I focus on preparation rather than being stuck in the dark spot in my life.”

This is a beautiful young woman. This is a strong young woman I’m wanting to embrace with so much love.

Yet meeting Olivia I learned that ABLE can have so many meanings to everyone.

For me I was always sad, I was always alone; emotionally and mentally. I wasn’t able to tell my story. I wasn’t able to be free. I’m free now because I am ABLE to live, I am ABLE to tell my story now.

Your past is not your story, once you realize this it has no power over you. I don’t have the fear of rejection anymore. IMG_3962

I’m okay with knowing what it’s like to feel hurt and pain, and to learn to slowly cope with it on my own time. To being able to dig deep and get my hands messy. I have embraced that I have a beautiful mind and soul, that I am perfectly flawed. That I am me. My mission isn’t over for it has just begun.

#Adoptionisbeautiful

Throughout the years I have had people try to break me down, some at the time I will admit they succeed, others I smiled because I was strong to remind myself I did a really good thing. I did this out of love. I did this for Ava. I did this to bless a family that wanted a child, that longed for a child, for all the right reasons.

I have come across my fair share of well, idiots in nice words to put it. I have come across loving people. I have come across good and bad.

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I am strong not because I placed, I am strong because not many can do what I did out of love, out of hope, out of joy, out of blessing. I didn’t do this for me, I did this for her. I did this for Ava because; she deserves nothing less then having the world at her finger tips, loving and embracing life. Embracing life with its fullness, embracing life and its adventures, embracing life with all its love. To know what having and being apart of a family is, to have that unconditional love. The love of acceptance, the love of knowing she is good enough. She is loved.

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