I met Emilie about a year ago through social media. I am happy I know this amazing person. She has taught me about moving forward and accepting. She is a mother. She works full time along with sells Posh on the side. Shes a warrior and a fighter. She is strong in many ways that I admire. This interview hasnt been changed or altered. These are her own words and her story.
What’s your name?
Emilie Anne Bulman
How old are you?
I’m 26
What’s your relationship when the adoption community?
Birth Mom or adoptee?
Adoptee
What were your feelings of adoption as a child?
At first when I found out, I was a little confused because I was only 6 when my parents told me. They always kept the answers to my questions age appropriate, so I became much more comfortable as I got more information. The more I understood, the more “ok” with it I became.
As an adult now are you okay with how your life turned out?
Absolutely. I grew up with opportunities I would have otherwise never had.
Do you have a relationship with your birth mother?
Yes I do
Is there anything you would want to tell her that you have been scared to do so?
At this point in my life, no. Her and I have pretty open communication so I’m able to express any feelings I have at any time.
That’s amazing! To be honest with you I hope one day I myself can have that type of relationship with my birth daughter! If you could tell your mom one thing. AKA your adoptive mom. What would you want her to know about your healing journey and coming to terms with who you really are?
I would definitely express how thankful I am. I know it was difficult for her to let go when I turned 18 and could do what I wanted with the information I had. I know her goal from day 1 was to protect me, yet encourage my questions when I had them. Her openness about my adoption was a huge part of me becoming completely comfortable and growing into myself.
I admire your mom in many ways. I know as being a birth mother a lot of us fear that our birth child will be told scary hurtful things. Example: “we gave up” instead of saying we placed to protect them from living in property or to be safe from abuse. Do you have children?
I completely understand your fear. I hear horror stories where that was true. My mom never, ever put my birth mom in a negative light. Placing me was always to give me a life she couldn’t provide.
Yes I have a six year old daughter.
Do you plan on keeping adoption open when raising your child? Or do you plan on informing her when she is older about your story. (Tween, teenager)
She is actually already aware. She doesn’t fully understand the process obviously, but she knows I “wasn’t in grandmas belly” and is comfortable with the word adoption.
That’s beautiful that you are teaching her something many parents fear.
How involved are you with adoption community?
I’m actually not very involved. Until I met you, I honestly didn’t even really know there was one!
I’m so happy we met since you brought that up!
I must say you have helped me heal in many ways that have been left unsaid. You have opened my eyes it’s not just “me” it’s “we” this past year.
Do you plan to be more involved with the community?
I would definitely love to be more involved. If I can provide hope for birth parents and assure them that their children that they placed won’t hate them or hold resentment, then I’m happy.
That would change a lot of minds, hearts, and souls. It’s such a scary feeling.
What’s one thing you have learned throughout your healing journey when it comes to adoption?
I’ve learned that it’s still so taboo, and there aren’t many people who are aware of the details. I’ve also found that there are so many people that are afraid to ask adoptee’s about their experience. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m very open about being placed. If people asking questions will help them learn something about another part of life, I will answer any question that’s asked
That’s honorable.
Last question before you enjoy the rest of your Sunday afternoon.
Is there any advice you think will help me with my healing journey?
Feel what you need to feel. Grieve. Love. Feel sadness. But in the end, know that you made a very selfless decision for your daughter. It’s a very long process, but find peace. My birth mom tells me all the time “I am so happy I made that hard decision. Your mom and dad are phenomenal people and I know I chose the right people to take care of you. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.”
That means the world to me. Your birth mom is a woman I would love to meet one day.
Thank you so much for being open and wanting to share a little bit of your story. I know it will help some Birthmothers with their healing. I also hope this sparks a flame to the fire to get more adoptees involved with the community.
I love you.
I love you! And if you ever wanted to explore the story of a birth mother and her placed child, I can promise you, I know my birth mom would be thrilled by the idea.
Look at you ideas are already forming!
That’s an adventure I’d like to have.
You are a wonderful person. I love you
