Last week as we started saying goodbye to a few closed loved ones and friends, it finally hit me that we were starting a new chapter in our lives.
To think about three weeks ago we wanted to give up on each other and start separate lives. To think that in just three weeks we realized that getting out was the best thing we had to do for us, out family, our son, and for each other. To imagine that we are now here when we could be dealing with lawyers. To think that we let toxic people interfere with our relationship with one another. That we were that low of a low.
Last week was such a blur, last week just went by oh so fast. Couldn’t fit in all the ”goodbyes we love you, or we will miss you” I feel bad that we couldn’t say goodbye to everyone.
I sit here smiling because we made it out of this alive and with each other. Realizing that we are a team and that others shouldn’t be interfering. We are starting over. We are starting new. We said goodbye to all the bad and ugly last night and woke up this morning happy, free, and alive again.
I won’t lie the drive up here wasn’t the ride I thought we were going to have. I ended up getting sick the last day of driving, along with I dealt with Elijah screaming, yelling, crying, and throwing his body like crazy trying to get out of his car seat. Longest three days of my life. I’m not kidding. I wanted to just give up and break down and second question why we were putting Elijah through this. Yet looking what was laying ahead of us I knew that we had to keep moving forward. This new life, this new everything, it would be foolish to pass it all up and be stuck in south Carolina or better yet stuck in that hotel room in Jackson. No thanks I’ll pass, NEXT!!
This drive has been a healing journey for me. I cried a lot, I sang a lot, better yet I let go of a lot.
Accepting and facing are two things that are two hard things to do. Driving across half the country took me that to realize that I had a lot of hurt and pain that I needed to come with peace with. This year is going to be a long, eventful, healing, uplifting year. To doing things that make you feel a live, that make you feel good, that help with the healing, that better yet makes you a better you.
I love you, I accept you, you are worthy, I admire you.