Those beautiful Monday mornings.

Those beautiful Monday mornings.

Mondays, a fresh start, a new week, a new beginning.

Forget about that horrible week you had, for this is a new day.  Easier said then done.

My mind is overflowing with so many thoughts, emotions, and better yet my sinus are stuffed up.

I’ve had such a long week, Elijah had a little cold, turned out its RSV and pneumonia. Talk about being hit by a semi when you find out that your son is ten times worse than what you thought.  It would explain the sleepless nights and the overflowing of emotions I had.

Last week, was such a struggle for me. Trying to keep my stuff together, trying to be a good ‘housewife’ a good partner, a good mom, and better yet just trying to keep this poker face on at all times.

Yet that was last week, today is a new day, a new week, a fresh start and yes I’m going to sing at the top of my lungs today even though I’m stuffed up.

Main focus for this week, “Accept the Struggle”

If something doesn’t go as planned, oh well, lets just embrace it and try not to let it consume me. HA HA HA a lot easier said then done.

I’m that type of person that  freaks outs when things don’t go as planned. I let it eat at me.  I don’t mean to yet it just well happens. Not a lot of people understand this about me. I get the ‘ you just love to feel upset’ no my coping is well messed up. I have anxiety and depression. It makes things worse, and that’s okay, I’m Human. I’m aloud to makes mistakes and I’m aloud to freak out.

YOU SHOULD STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL LESS OF WHO I AM.

When people tell me to ‘grow up’ ‘stop acting childish’ it just makes it worse. It makes me think well who are you to judge me. Who are you to make me feel less of a human being.

It’s hard, depression is hard, anxiety is hard, any type of disorder is hard.

Yet this week is a new week, I’m going to fight with all my might and try my hardest to not let the hard comuse yet, not let the hard define me, yet to let it make me a better and stronger person.

No one will save me yet myself.

No one will make me strong but me.

You are loved you are strong, you are brave

Love always,

You  

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